DIY: Cozy Coupe Batmobile

So, I’ve been thinking that as well as using this blog to write generally about the joys of parenting (the very first thing my 4 year old said to me upon waking up this morning was “hey, imagine you had an EYEBALL IN YOUR BUTT, WHAT WOULD YOU SEE?”) I would maybe do the odd DIY/crafts/recipes type post, since I’ve made a few things over the years that might be of interest. Although, I’ll still mainly be posting things more along the lines of ‘eyeball butt’ since my repertoire of useful, post-worthy skills is limited but my accounts of Noah and Ben being disgusting human beings are basically endless.

You may have seen tutorials for this floating around the internet already, since I actually did this project 3 whole years ago (I know, super current and relevant blogging here). However, if you haven’t seen it and you have an old Cozy Coupe car in your possession, then you should absolutely do this for the following reasons:

1. It’s quick to do.
2. It’s cheap.
3. Your kids will genuinely think that you are cool for a limited time. These moments are rare and must be grasped with both hands at any opportunity for validation and self-esteem reasons. Not that you aren’t cool, though. Making packed lunches is cool. Religiously enforcing a three person limit on the trampoline or maximum swing-height limit to prevent the VERY REAL THREAT of falling to their death is cool.

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So, here are the things you’ll need:

1. Two cans of Rustoleum Direct-to-Plastic Spray Paint in black
2. Sandpaper
3. White vinegar
4. Old sheets or a large sheet of cardboard
5. Batman Logo vinyl stickers (I got mine on eBay for around £2)

STEPS
1. Wash the car thoroughly with warm soapy water. Employ help for this. Quickly realise that they aren’t helping in the slightest and have actually managed to make the car LESS clean. Wait until they’re bored of “helping” and do it yourself. Then wipe down with the white vinegar.

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2. Once dry, lightly sand any scuffed/scratched areas of the car. I got ours from a charity shop for £5 and it had a lot of scratches and marks, but if yours is in good shape you could probably just ignore this step. Also, great jewellery choices in 2013, Kerry. What the fuck is that ring? Is that…a dragon? Are you some sort of MEDIEVAL KING?

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3. PAINTING TIME. I have seen some tutorials that tell you to disassemble the entire car and spray each piece separately…but since it’s all being sprayed the one colour I’m going to go ahead and suggest you save some time and just spray it all as it is. Lay down old sheets or some big sheets of cardboard before you do this because it does NOT come out, so unless you’re into that goth garden aesthetic you’re in for a bad time. I used two cans which was enough to do a couple of coats. Leave it to dry overnight.

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4. Stick your Bat symbol stickers to either side of the car and any other Batman-related embellishments you so wish. We also ordered a Batman license plate sticker on eBay to stick to the front which looked great, but sadly I don’t have a picture because it was 3 years ago and all the stickers have since fallen off thanks to the Batmobile being left out in the rain and snow for several winters, and THAT is thanks to having the world’s shittiest hut that you could ever possibly imagine that doesn’t actually have space for more than 3 items. When we ordered it from Homebase we noticed they had literally named it the “Billy O’Budget Shed” which was nice, you know, for those moments when you just want to feel EXTRA poor.

5. YOU DID IT. You made a Batmobile. Your kids are super impressed. You’re cool now. Nothing can take this moment away from you. Bask in the glow of your achievements. Then, casually and in a still totally cool way tell them to be careful riding it and to please not climb on the top of it when you’re brother’s driving it incase you fall off and then maybe the car tips over and then you’ve both fallen and are now POSSIBLY SERIOUSLY INJURED. You are now no longer cool. You’ve ruined it. Accept that you will always ruin it. But your kids have a Batmobile and are super happy, so that’s always nice.

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My top ‘shit weather’, budget-friendly activities

It’s the weekend. Your kids are up and barely three minutes into their first Peppa Pig/Kinder Egg unboxing Youtube video of the day the questions have started

“What are we doing today? Where are we going today? Are we doing fun things today? EXPLAIN YOUR PLANS FOR US. ENTERTAIN US, MOTHER.”

The only thing is that it’s pissing down, you’re skint and you would probably rather give yourself a bikini wax with Smart Price duct tape than endure the soft play (shudder).

So, if you’re like me, you figure you’ll be super proactive and smart and an all-around FANTASTIC mother and head to Pinterest to look for some fun DIY projects/crafts/science experiments that you’ll all enjoy and laugh and bond over, and life will just be wonderful.

What annoys me most about a lot of these Pinterest `”Rainy Day Activities” is that you can only do them if your house is the equivalent of a fucking B&Q/Wilko megastore.

‘For this fun activity for the little ones, you’ll need the following everyday household items –

Paint
Cornstarch
PVA glue
Glitter
5 sheets of MDF
A circular saw
Your Level 1 Joinery Qualification
Diamonds
The blood of thine enemies

Fortunately, over the years I’ve managed to find some that are cheap, easy to do, and have kept the boys entertained and happy on shitty weather days. Here are a list of my favourites!

1. FORTS.
Seriously. Who doesn’t love forts? If you have sheets, and you have pegs…you have a fort. If you have sheets and some chairs…you have a fort. I’ve seen me bust out a fort before the boys even wake up for the sole purpose of being able to drink an entire cup of coffee and scroll mindlessly through Instagram for a blissful half hour. Bonus points for keeping the fort up after they go to bed so you can drink wine in it. GLAMPING.

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2. Shower painting.

I know, but bear with me here. This might sound like an unholy mess and an altogether regrettable decision, but it is 100% my favourite way of letting the boys paint. If you have the same set-up as we do which is the shower in the bath as opposed to a separate shower then you are sorted.

You’ll need paint (clearly), a roll of old wrapping paper/wallpaper/any giant roll of paper, and masking tape. Cover the walls surrounding the bath with the paper and tape it. Put pots of paint inside the bath. Throw your kids into said bath and proceed to watch them lose their shit as they cover the walls and themselves in paint in a furious, ecstatic manner. They’re making a mess, they’re fucking shit up, they’re LIVING THE DREAM. The magic is that when they’re finished painting, they’re already in the shower. They are CONTAINED. So, rip the paper off the walls, switch the shower on and hose down. Minimal cleaning, no paint all over your floors and walls as you try to drag them up for a shower…happy days.

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3. Puffy paint

I saw the recipe for this on Pinterest and was sure it was going to be a disappointment, but it worked really well and the boys loved it! You only need self-raising flour, salt, water and a bit of food colouring (I used this tutorial from happyhooligans)
The boys painted their pictures, we shoved them in the microwave and, well, as the name suggests, they puff up. For some reason this was pure comedy GOLD for Ben “putting your pictures in the microwave HAHAHA” and any time we do this it keeps them entertained enough to not try to kill each other for ten minutes.

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4. STAIR SLIDE

Ok, arguably the least simple out of the list because you do need a HUGE bit of cardboard. However, if you have one you are about to revert back to the child you once were and lose your shit because THERE’S A SLIDE IN YOUR HOUSE NOW. There isn’t really a need for a tutorial here; flatten out the cardboard and use heavy duct tape to tape it to the sides of the stairs. Put pillows at the bottom to land on if you’re just not really in the mood for a trip to A&E later. Then SLIDE. Bonus points if one of your children reacts like he’s being sent to his death.

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So, these are some of my favourite ways to make the most of a shitty, rainy day. If all else fails, put another Youtube video on of some creepy-sounding man opening Kinder Eggs, dump all the toys out on the floor and go drink your tea in the hall.

3 Little Buttons
Diary of an imperfect mum